If she reaches that stage she ends up doing all kinds of stupid stuff and then she spends the next month apologizing to everyone she thinks she might have upset or offended.While Alice was on the dance floor I circulated among the guests, talking to old friends and relatives and catching up on all the rumors and gossip. I was talking with Kenny Hicks, an old friend that I'd played high school ball with and he said he needed to get some air so we walked out into the parking lot. We were walking along the lot, talking about our old classmates and where they were and what they were doing, when we heard a woman's voice from back among the parked cars."Oh yes, oh God yes."Kenny laughed and said, "It sounds to me like some body is getting some of that good old back seat loving. I wonder who it is?"He headed towards where the noise came from. As we drew closer we heard low moans and what sounded like: "Ohyesohyesohyesfuckmefuckmefuckme" all strung together like it was one word."I wonder who. Some people find their happiness from being around others. I am not one of those people.After convincing my sister that her search for Mr. Right was hopeless, I made a token attempt to convince her that I might have been wrong. I was not very convincing, in part because I honestly did believe that my sister's search for love was hopeless. Mr. Right is out there somewhere, but my sister will never find him — especially now that she was no longer looking for him. This is just as well. I want her all to myself.My sister stopped dating completely, much to the disappointment to the various morons who had not yet had a chance to dump her. This is an important milestone in my plot to become a hopeless loser. Even if my plan failed completely, I had already accomplished quite a bit. Not only was my sister paying to take me out to dinner but also I no longer had to listen to her complain about boyfriends. Still, I don't think my plan is going to fail. Her eyes still widened every time I.
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