I know you don't flaunt them but sometimes it is hard to keep secrets when we live under the same roof. I know you do or have done drugs. I know that you live a swinger's lifestyle. I know you drink excessively. I know that Dad sleeps with other women. What if any of those things do you want to change? Or is there something else?" I thought you may have seen some of those things and I guess I knew but since you didn't say anything, I didn't either. That is probably the biggest reason we have grown apart, because I am ashamed or afraid that you may bring up those things." Mom, I have done some of those things too. I am not so ashamed of them because all of those things can be enjoyable. When you control yourself and your activities, they can be fun. When those same things control you it is like walking into the pit."She was looking at me and nodding in resignation that what I was saying was true."Mom, during the past 24 hours how many drugs have you taken? You don't have to mention. ’ She drank some more of her coffee, set the cup down and gazed across the table at Ben. She still wanted to take him in her arms, so much so that there was an ache inside her. ‘That lawyer, Will, I think he knows you were lying,’ Ben said. Nancy nodded. ‘I’m sure he suspects that I lied,’ she said. ‘But he can’t prove it any more than the police can. And he has less reason to prove that I’m lying than they do, so I doubt he’ll try.’ ‘I guess not,’ Ben replied. Nancy got up, walked into the living room, and stared out the window. ‘Ben, do you have any idea how I felt when Dawn came home from school and told me you were her teacher?’ she said softly. Ben, his heart pounding, got up and walked into the living room with her. ‘How did you feel?’ he asked. He didn’t understand why, exactly, but his legs were shaky, so he sat down on the sofa. Nancy turned. ‘When Dawn mentioned your name, I felt all funny inside, as if I…I’m not sure, how to put it in words,’ she said. ‘I felt almost like I.
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