”“The record tie ever recorded is 32.03 minutes, that was achieved three years ago In Houston, Texas at the National Championships. The dog’s name was Royce, a German Shepherd weighing only 66 pounds. Bitch Queen was the bitch.”At her name there were cries of, “Where is she?” “Bring her back.”“Royce has been retired,” Bernard said, instantly regretting he had mentioned Bitch Queen’s name. “Princess Canis are you up to the task of proving you are the best Human Bitch in the USA?”“I am,” I said confidently, although not believing a word of what I was saying.“How tight is your pussy?” someone shouted.“As small as your cock.” someone answered him.“You will have to bid high to find that out,” Bernard said. “And the bidding for the rights to fuck the Princess come after The Longest Tie Contest.”“Allow me to show you how big and how tight my pussy is.” I stunned everyone by saying that, even myself. “Bernard, get someone to bring me some oil, KY, or something similar.”Bernard was at a loss.. What're you doing about birth control?" "I'm on the pill," Haley responded, "but I've missed a couple of doses because I forgot to pack them when I left the dorm." "Tomorrow you need to go to Walgreens and tell the pharmacist what happened. They'll refill your prescription." Haley nodded, then asked, "Mom, what are you doing for birth control?" Jen chuckled. "Honey, I don't have to worry about birth control." "Why not, Mom? Did you have your tubes tied or something?" "No, nothing like that," Jen answered. "It's kind of a long story. Your father and I married right out of high school and we wanted to have a baby right away, but it took about a year for me to get pregnant with you, even though we were going at it day and night! It was a difficult pregnancy and I almost lost you. I was on bedrest my last month. When you finally came along you were so perfect; such a beautiful baby. After that, my periods were spotty and irregular, and your dad and I tried for years to get me pregnant.
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