She pouted at me and I ignored her as I stepped over to my wife and took her by the elbow and I 'escorted' her back outside and closed the door. "Okay, what the HELL is going on? What have you gotten me into. I am not a stripper!!!" I know, I know. Now stop! Emily asked me a couple of months ago if I could get you to come to her adult toy Christmas party. I said, 'No way' at first, but she kept after me. She is paying us $500 for the evening AND...." My wife took a deep breath and finished, "...and if you let her tie you down so the women can pose on top of you...straddling you... she will throw in an extra $200."I looked at my wife and I wondered who the hell she was, pimping me out. I was without words as my mind tried to piece together how I had come to be standing right there, hearing... "Are you sure? I mean, you know that I don't have the world's greatest self control and this costume... If I get hard in this, EVERYONE is going to know it."Tina looked up at me for a few. ." Well, I might just see you later, then." she said, almost laughing, before winking at her friend and swinging a great arm around to get herself moving toward the door.Still aghast, I chewed quickly as the two met the door and left, the bell ringing and then falling silent. I look around the empty restaurant and quickly finished my bagel before nervously gathering my things and sneaking out.I arrived at the house I was renting for the semester and locked the front door behind me, still a bit spooked by the encounter. As I settled in I comforted myself with reassurances that this woman was probably just some oversensitive kook whom I would never see again, and my thoughts eventually turned to the movie I had rented earlier, which I popped into the VCR before grabbing a bottle of Weiss and settling on the sofa. The movie that looked so interesting in the store turned out to be a pretentious bore which, with some help from the beer, quickly put me to sleep. I was tired and slept deeply.
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