My Christmas present to you is going to be best sex session we’ve ever had.”She kissed him soundly, then whispered in his ear, “You’ve been wanting to do anal, I’ll be ready. Anything my big Santa Clause wants, tonight he gets it.”***********Nick had been a professional football player, but an injury to his hip had ended his career, during his second season. He had married Vickie while he was still in the rehab facility. That had been less than two years ago. It was love at first sight for the nurse and the patient, and that love grew fast and strong. She stayed after her shift one evening, in his room. As they kissed and petted each other, she told him, smiling into his devouring eyes, “I had a talk with the other girls. They’re going to stay away from your room, and keep the other patients away, too.”As she started loosening the buttons on her uniform, she noticed the rise in his flannel pajama bottoms, “I’m still a virgin, sweetheart, and right now, you’re not exactly in a good. The woman then instructs him to put a Santa Claus with “Merry Christmas” up on her left thigh. So the guy does it and it comes out looking good too.As the woman is getting dressed the guy asks, “If you don’t mind, would you tell me why you had me put such unusual tattoos on your thighs?”She said,” I’m sick and tired of my husband complaining that there is nothing good to eat between Thanksgiving and Christmas.”President Bush and Osama decided to settle the war once and for all.They sat down and decided to settle the whole dispute with one dog fight.They would have 5 years to breed the best fighting dog in the world and whichever side’s dog won would be entitled to dominate the world.Osama found the biggest, meanest Doberman and Rottweiler female dogs in the world and bred them with the meanest Siberian wolves. They selected only the biggest and strongest puppy from the litter, and removed his siblings, which gave him all the milk. After 5 years, they came up with the biggest, meanest.
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