She looked around the room and noticed the lights were now almost entirely red, and the music was once again the South American rain-forest type of pipes that she found quite refreshing and soothing. There seemed to be a few more people this time than there had been during the afternoon, but couldn’t be sure in the dingy glow. As if reading her mind, Simone wandered around the altar, lighting the huge candles on top of the big brass candlesticks. They offered a pleasing light, almost welcoming as Simone once again took her place between Lauren and the priest.“Ladies and Gentlemen, boys and girls, welcome again to our wedding ceremony. We are delighted to celebrate the joining together of Lauren and Father Michael as Lauren enters into the body of the church, freely and willingly, so that she too might continue its teaching and work throughout the world. Today, we will, by the union of their bodies, confirm our belief that all things are pre-ordained and that fate is our master. We. I’m Roger.’ I stumbled. I giggled hysterically for a moment and made a complete fool out of myself. ‘Nice to meet you Roger, how’s your banana doing?’ My cheeks flushed, was that gay code? Was he asking me about my cock? Did he see me escaping the classroom with a bulge in my pants and did he follow me here to do gay things with me? For a moment I hoped so. I knew nothing about the gay community, but having sex in a bathroom stall, that was a thing, right? That happened in movies. ‘I...’ I didn’t really know what to say. ‘My.... a...’ ‘I mean, the apples have those shiny skin, so it’s quite easy to paint the reflective light, but the banana has a much more nuanced lightning gradient, isn’t it?’ ‘Yeah.’ I said. ‘Yes. I mean... so nuanced.’ ‘Exactly. See you in class sweetheart.’ Davy patted me on the shoulder and walked out of the bathroom. I felt like an idiot. I felt like one of those idiots in those chick-lit novels my wife liked to read. I took a deep breath and.
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