I made a devil’s bargain. Jason demanded that I tell the truth, and I agreed to provide the truth in exchange for his listening.I suddenly thought of the Oscar Wilde novel “The Picture of Dorian Gray.” If I revealed all the ugly truth, how could anyone love me? All the makeup and designer clothing cannot hide what I am. Like some soap opera TV bitch, I would be exposed as the vile slut who men fuck and replace like the condoms they keep in their wallets, but with less real value. All the skin-deep beauty, all the trappings of success, and all the wealth I possessed could not gain me the one thing I desired, Jason’s love. However, I would try for it with every faculty I possessed.The trains are slow after the rush hour, and I was in no hurry, so it was well after nine when I arrived home. I had a surprise waiting for me, my daughter Tina. I had been lying to her telling her everything was working itself out and that her father would be home soon. I had begged her not to call or. The fire dances and flicks over the wood and moss. It has a life all to its own. A little breeze or waive of my hand, it slides off to one side then the other. The rich orange, reds, and yellows hold my eyes, it is calming and exciting in one. I picked up my chemise and it is ready for its new home of plastic, and so in it goes and I am ready for a quiet night. The darkness falls as the night closes. Sounds change from those of day to that of night. What can I think make them? The water is more prevalent as I sit quietly, with these thoughts and the fire. I reach up and take down my hair, long and thick from the simple brass cage it is held in. My head rests on the pillow of grass and my pack, the cloak over me my fire slowly dying and I drift off to sleep. Morning comes early out in the world, with no shades to try and hold it off, but to awake hear with the warmth of the returning sun is much better then the shriek of some alarm. The new morning brings me back to the box. My chain.
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