It hurt particularly more because throughout the relationship she would tell me how she was never attracted to black guys at all. So it really felt like a betrayal to find this out.It messed with my head for a while after. Any time I would be looking at porn and saw a thumbnail of an interracial video it would make me angry and almost instantly turn me off. Slowly though, it began to change. Now instead of getting turned off by seeing it, I found myself only masturbating to interracial videos. I would watch them and see how much pleasure these white girls were getting from those thick long black cocks. Seeing girls cream all over those dark shafts. Hearing them say naughty things about how they were sluts for black cock and their white boyfriends just didn't compare moaning for more. Then instead of focusing on the girls I would focus on the men. How muscular they were, how dark their skin was, how big their cocks were. I soon became jealous that these girls could receive them but I. "I need your help Amanda. Being a woman is new to me and I can use all the help I can get." I won't be much help. I have only one day more experience at being a woman than you." You mean you did the program day before yesterday." Yes."***For the next six months Susan and I learned more about ourselves and about being a woman.Then things started to change. I received the first letter from Dean. At first it was just a newsy letter telling me about what is happening in his life. Then they got more romantic and more often. It seemed like we were sending each other letters every other day.On the day of my first anniversary of being a woman. The doorbell rang, when I answered it. I found Dean standing there. It was a complete surprise to me. What more he had lost over 100 pounds."Hi Amanda. I bet you are surprised to see me." I am surprised, but I am glad too." The reason why I am here is I didn't want to say it in the mail or over the phone." We can't change back." "That isn't it." Dean.
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