By then, I was bawling my eyes out -- she was holding me and comforting me.She got me calmed down enough to listen some more. "Since then," she told me calmly, "I was terrified of men; the only man I trusted was Don. I locked myself in the house, wouldn't go out unless it was vital then only with Don."That was one reason we came to Burbank, to get away from the environment. We'd already decided before May we were coming since there were other factors involved, like school, my parents living here already and both Natalie and Don considered there wasn't a decent boy in the entire school."Anyway, I transferred the fear onto Natalie. I didn't want her anywhere near a man, to be out alone, or even attract attention from a man. To support me, she grounded herself -- no dates, no extra-curricular activities, nothing. She even dressed to hide herself -- you saw her clothes -- wore no makeup or jewelry and in general, tried to be unattractive -- all to help me out. She wasn't afraid, it was. I was trying my damnedest to kill him. The judge, as it turned out, believed me. I was being sent back to serve out my entire sentence and no parole possible this time. Twelve more years. Fuck!Well, I got the treatment of a true veteran upon my return. Instead of a week’s orientation, it took just one day. And then I was back in the exact same cell I’d enjoyed so long my first time around. Of, and as an added benefit, I had the same cell mate, Walt Combs. He was actually glad to see me, but he was about the only one.The yard was a place for exercise now. I ran. I ran every day, fast. It really did help me keep my mind clear of the motherfucker that had caused all of my problems. Oh, I knew I was at least in part responsible for this part of my interminable life of misery; but, bottom line, it was him and his whore that done me in! I thought my hatred of the two of them had been pretty high end before; I’d been wrong about that. It had reached celestial levels this time around.If I.
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