She knows I have fun when I see her half-dressed for the wardrobe, frustrated because she does not know what to wear but I grimace as she calls adamant that everything doesn’t fit because she thinks she is ugly.But for every tear and grimace we experience every day there are countless moments of wonder, pride and happiness. A radiant smile on her face as she shows her work with pride, a look and posture of victory when she defeated me for the umpteenth time in a game, a sense of satisfaction as she shows me how beautiful her flowers and plants in her garden flourish. And at each moment, every time, I put my arm over her and admire her.She turns around and I can feel how cold it is in my bedroom now that her arm is no longer on my chest. The same cold as at a particular winter day when we were sitting together on the couch as we often do. She huddled close to me and as she suddenly starts crying and sobbing, telling me that she is not ready to make love. With a smile on my face I look. You have to have something to offer and more if you, where mixed raced and some did not like you. Sometimes it felt like going up over a 7 footer playing Basketball, A lot of work and not happening much, but if you apply yourself and ramrod your effort then you can hang in and make do. Make your breaks and if the Door Cracks Kick it open. If theres a Machine Gun Behind The Door, it might Jam or the round could be a dud, if not oh well gotta go sometime. I am filing this story under, Fiction and Essay, most of it happened, Getting Knocked Up while I was in Vietnam sure did. Fucking her till she almost could not walk sure did. Fucking her 8 days after the Baby was born happened also, (although I do feel somewhat bad about that she wanted it as bad as I did and I never did fuck her if she really did not want to. She was almost as big as me but in a female way pretty face nice tits Cs if you must, bright smile, good attitude, Rode a Horse and Barrel Raced at Rodeos. Wore Blue Jeans.
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