I’m not kidding. Baltimore is just full of characters, and it seems like I’ve had ’em all in my hack at one time or another in the years I’ve been doing this to keep a fucking roof over my head and pay my non-fucking ex-wife’s alimony bills. Like I said, I’ve seen all kinds of fares, but the topper had to be this rich society bitch last Christmas. I pick her up at BWI loaded her bags into the trunk and take off. She’s wearing a dead fox around her shoulders and gave some fancy up town address. She’s about 40 years old, but still sexy in a stuck-up kind of way. Stinking rich. I’m not kidding you. But here’s the thing: When I pull in front of her castle, she goes into her purse to pay the tab, and whaddya know? She can’t find her wallet! “I’m terribly sorry,” she says in this hoity-toity voice. “I don’t seem to be able to pay you”. “That’s too fuckin’ bad, lady,” I say. “I guess you ain’t goin’ home yet then.” And I pull away from the curb and head for the nearest expressway. That got. Droplets, like precious jewels hung from her nipples as the water coursed down her body to pool at her feet."Holy shit," I murmured under my breath. Looking at Kelly, I challenged, "You wouldn't dare!" I could see the indecision on her face. After a few moments, something inside must have settled the argument. Without a word, she paddled over to the dock, looked me straight in the eye and climbed out.Bob and I looked at each other and exploded in genuine applause. Wading over to the ladder, I looked up and could see Patty and Kelly standing side-by-side at the top of the ladder."Sorry, guys," Kelly said. "This is our ladder and our deck. You can't use it."Warming to the game Bob replied, "It's only yours as long as you can defend it." Taking a firm grip on the ladder, he started climbing out, but was pushed back down by both girls. As he started to fall, he grabbed Kelly's arm and pulled her back in with him. "I've got Kelly. Get Patty!" he commanded.Looking up the ladder, I saw.
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