Thoughts of the witch from the Wizard of Oz entered my mind ‘I’m melting, I’m melting,’ she cried after Dorothy threw the bucket of water on her. That would happen to him if I threw him out. He would go out into the heat and melt into a puddle on my front porch, ‘What a world, what a world’ he would cry as the oppressive heat turned his innards to goo. ‘C’mon’ he said grabbing my arm gently, ‘You need to get out of this house, and we’re going road farming.’ Road farming! I didn’t want to go road farming, I wanted to be left alone! I thought of the prospect, driving down dusty gravel roads out in the middle of nowhere in this heat just to park and drink beer. ‘Ugh’ I thought to myself. Mosquitoes loved me more than any man ever could. I imagined myself lying in the bed of his pick up a dried pile of bone and papery brown flesh, exsanguinated by their legions. Scowling, I declined his offer. He looked me in the eye, jingling his keys in my face. I could tell by the set of his jaw, I. I pulled him on top of me, resting his head between my warm breasts, his torso sandwiched between my thighs. “What are you thinking?”He let out a long sigh. “I want to live up to your expectations.”“I don't have any. In a good way.”“I still see you as that unattainable goddess who hangs out with my friend's big sister.”I ran my fingers through his mop of dark hair. “I'm lying naked in bed with you. Target attained. And I'm not a goddess.”“Sorry. 'Good witch,’” he air quoted.“How about ‘regular woman who works in IT and likes eating a jar of pear baby food before bed’?”“How about 'Jacob's girlfriend, whom he has fallen in love with’?”My fingers froze. “Love?”He looked up at me. “I love you, Honey Amberson.”“If we’re doling out labels, does this mean you're my boyfriend?”“What's that phrase you Americans say? If it walks like a duck?”“I love you, Jacob Lighterstone.”“Quack.” He nuzzled my neck. “Quack quack.” Then came the tickles. “Quack quack quack!”We rolled around on the bed, me.
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