Then suddenly total and complete tranquil peace came over me, so strong and so direct it was I believe I actually began laughing at least that seemed to me like that’s what I was doing and hell who really knows I was at that point totally fucked up.Finally things seemed to settle back down but that strong euphoric feeling sure as hell didn’t, it got worse far far worse.Thinking on it now, she had to do it. Why you ask? Well the healing cannot start until you totally and absolutely release that which is sickening you! Think about it? Pneumonia cannot heal until your fed full of antibiotics and things to stop your lungs from filling with fluid right.Well that same exact way of healing mentally applies just the same.In order for your mind to heal from your sickening pent up mental condition the disease(trauma, etc.) must be free of your minds holding it so tightly consumed.Now that said, Yes Patti did indeed have a tenure to again do that to me oh yes no doubt about that and she admitted. Make upwas subtle with mascara and some eyeliner. She styled my hair withribbons she was enjoying this and insisted I wear a bra again. Nextweek she said I must get another tennis outfit as I can't wear the sameone every week. Now she also wants me to try out for the drama seasonand says I must prepare. She has a lot of old shoes and dresses whenshe was younger which she kept in sealed boxes. We unpacked these boxesand first had me try the shoes for size. About half fitted well. So itwas pantyhose and high heels and trying on lots of dresses. I spent thewhole weekend in dresses and learning to walk and sit properly. Makeupwas much heavier with Smokey eye and base etc. . She had a lot ofevening prom dresses which were lovely to wear. I asked her way she didnot wear dresses anymore as her figure was still good. I said I will goout with her as a girl if she dressed up as well. Deal doneAfter school I would dress up and eventually walked well in momshighest heels. I looked hot in the.
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