While in high school I was always the odd guy. No real friends to speak of. A virgin when I left to go to the Boarding School. Most call it college but my parents, who were born in England, prefer to call it Boarding School. Several days later I decided to go watch a Little League Baseball game that the neighbor boy was playing in. I sat in the bleachers and soon was enjoying the first inning of the game. Then it happened. My high school gym teacher, Mr. Evans, spotted me and decided to sit next to me. “Hey Timmy welcome home. I understand you finished your freshmen year at college. It is good to see you didn’t gain the infamous freshmen twenty pounds.” “Hi Mr. Evans, thank you, no I’m still as skinny as ever,” I responded. “I like skinny,” Mr. Evans said, “But now that you are a man please call me Bill.” He then winked at me and flashed a big smile. Okay, I’m not dumb anymore. I know when a guy is hitting on me so I smiled back and said, “Bill I’m glad you like skinny because I am. It seems it’s a powerful laxative and not the Goody Munch Bar advertised on the package.”Dozens of people jumped up when the ushers started to wheel the Port-A-Potties into the building. They must have eaten the laxative candy and now had serious problems to consider. Even though two of the toilets were knocked over and several fights started as people tried to relieve themselves, the announcer seemed unperturbed and moved along with the show. “Ladies and gentlemen, I’m proud to introduce the Host of ‘We’re Here to Help’, Jeff Waaaaaalker.”“YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.” The audience went crazy when they saw Jeff. It was only a matter of time before the fun would begin.Jeff walked up the main aisle looking for the first contestant. “Would Marilyn Zabben please raise your hand.”The audience heard the shriek first and then watched as a women in the fifth row jumped out of her seat with her hand pointed straight up in the air. Three small children sat in the seats beside her and they somehow.
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