Although I already know the answer I feel like I need to hear it from her lips. “You never really loved me, did you?”She didn’t answer for such a long time I thought she wasn’t going to. Finally she replied in an appropriately apologetic voice, “I’m sorry, Dave. I thought I did. I did in a way. I still do. It’s just that ... honey, it wasn’t just you that didn’t know me very well. I didn’t understand me either. I can’t even guess why I’ve reacted to Jim the way I have. If anyone had suggested to me yesterday I would do the things I did tonight I would have known for a fact they were crazy. I swear. I’m just as surprised as you are.”I felt a wrenching pain in my chest when she admitted that she didn’t love me. It’s been obvious for a long time. But hearing the words was still a kick in the nuts. I’ve loved her so very much for so long.It’s going to be a long fucking year!Lea finally got up and said goodnight. I watched her leaving, going back to Jim. She seems a little embarrassed but. I slumped down onto the stool and with my elbows on my knees covered myface with my hands, sobbing quietly. Where did that come from? Me,sobbing? Slowly I felt a fog creep up my spine to my brain, it was just afeeling but as it tingled upwards I was sure something not really to myliking, was happening. It kind of felt like being intoxicated a little,easy feeling mellowness, a kind of euphoria enveloped me and I feltwonderful...how odd? I looked up at Harris and batted my eyelashes at himunashamedly. Where did that come from?Damn already their drug was affecting me. I was not sure... I was notprepared for this to happen so quickly. But what has been said many timeswas still true Survive the best way you can. I decided that this was agood piece of advice. Further I wanted to survive in style and comfortso~Adapt and overcome, then prosper, there it was.Named, Meeting Jackson"Now here's Jackson." Harris stated as a small knock was heard from thedoor. Opening it Purser stepped aside to.
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