" Oh, you're a stud. We'll wait a few minutes and start over."That was the one good thing I remember about adolescence. Erections were cheap and plentiful, like gasoline in the nineteen-fifties.She rose to her knees, shrugging out of her robe, and she hung her arms over my shoulders. Our naked bodies pressed together as she knelt on the edge of the bed. We kissed. Her lips were salty, with an oily film like a raw oyster. My own come and I was tasting it.My hands went everywhere, impatient to map the white wilderness — down her back and over the cool globes of her ass, then up to her small breasts and stiff nipples. At last, as I tweaked and twirled a nipple with one hand, I dropped the other across her taut stomach into her mat of kinky hair. Inside stood a pair of tiny flaps, tough but yielding, like rubber, and inside those, a sopping wet channel receded into nothing. I pushed my finger into it."Yes!" she gasped, breaking our kiss.She clutched the hair on the back of my head, and I. I laid in bed all day, didn’t sleep much, didn’t eat much, didn’t talk at all, I couldn’t. Or at least I couldn’t for a little while. After some time I started to be with others again, be with family. I still didn’t say much, but I was coming back around. A couple months after she died, I was stilling outside with family, listening to them talk about things happening in their lives. When my grandmother turns to me and asks ‘So what happened? Why did she die so suddenly? Couldn’t they have picked something up before she was born?’ Everyone was stunned into silence, I turned to her, stood up, and said ‘No.’ before walking away. I could hear people yelling at her for saying what she did, but I couldn’t understand what they were saying. I was concentrating on not collapsing. I made it as far as inside the porch, before I collapsed into tears. My mom hot on my trail, soon had me in her arms, whispering in my ear that things would get better, that while the hurt would never leave, it.
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