Apartments,President George Walker Bush had donned his pink tutu, his Miss Piggymask and his Farrah Faucett wig. He spoke in a regal, constrictedfalsetto, "Helleeew, yes! I am Princess of thee entire Ew-nee-verse, anda pretty, pretty peeg am I! Oh my!"On tiptoes he fluttered gracefully across the room, his wrists crossed above his head, enamored of the reflections he saw in the room's many tall mirrors. The pig face, the tutu, the ballet slippers and snow whitestockings, the pink ribbon tied around his dangling pecker in a lovelybow- he was indeed a vision of unsurpassed beauty!Now came the fun part. From a wire cage on the sink counter he plucked alarge white gerbil, holding the poor squirming animal by its stubbytail,"Ya know what happens now, my little friend-"The gerbil spoke, "Mister President, I am a magic gerbil. If you don'tput me up your ass I will grant you three wishes!" Huh?" asked the President crossly. He didn't like people interruptinghim, even if they was one. Be ready to give us the maximum thrust you can get from this tub when we set up to fire at the raider." Sue, this is Andy. Aim our ship for the center of the enemy to give our computers the best angle they can get for the lasers."At the moment, that was all that I could do. The actual fighting was up to the crew. Already, I was wishing that I could have something to fire at the bastards, even if it were only a spitball. That was when I first appreciated what a general felt when he sat in his office and waited to hear how the troops were doing. I was ready to shit marbles by the time Sharon fired the first burst from the X-ray laser.Sharon's first hit with the laser was dead center. She was good and our computers were good. A huge section of the belly of the ogre ship vanished in a cloud of dust. Gobs of stuff spilled from the hole, including some bodies. I hoped that they were ogres and not captives, but we couldn't worry about that now. Our main job was to stop the shooting at the.
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