I'll call him right now."Dad dialed and said, "Everett Johnson? This is Douglas McLoud. Joe Jones said that I could call you to put some money on the Red Sox-Yankees game on July 4th. What are the odds on the Red Sox winning? 10 to 1? Wow! I'd like to put $25 on the Red Sox. OK. Thanks. Goodbye." Well, son, we've started." Dad, to change the subject: do you think that I could get a motor scooter, now that we have some extra money?" I think that it's OK, but we'll have to convince your mother." Can we start tonight?"He smiled and nodded, so I knew that it was just a matter of time.Of course, she nixed the motor scooter. She insisted that we put any extra money aside for my college education.I pointed out that tuition at Auburn was $45 per quarter and dormitory room and board was $132.50 per quarter. She countered with the observation that $177.50 three times a year was still a lot of money and I would need books and clothes and other things. Fortunately, I knew when to shut up!I. It's OK honey. I'm sorry I got so angry but you took me by surprise" "I know Mom, I'm sor-" "It must be hard being locked away when you are at your sexual prime, I understand" "Thanks mom" I was so relieved that mom had forgiven me and understood. "So you've been…erm…playing with yourself for hours you say?" "Yes Mom" "Gee, that is a lot of wasted time. How on earth do you last that long without…y'know…ejaculating?" "I dunno, I just sort of stop for a little while when I feel it building" "I see. So what exactly do you…think about when your…tugging it?" We both giggled at the use of that phrase but I could tell that mom was genuinely curious. "Mom, I don't know if we should be talking abou-" "It's OK honey" Mom assured me with a smile "I won't freak out. We need to get to the bottom of this so tell me honestly" "Well honestly Mom I think mostly about you…in a sexual way" "I must admit Dan, although I flattered, I am very shocked at this confession" "I know mom, I'm sorry. I shouldn't.
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