The historyand geography books at the orphanage were about twenty years out of date.And we didn?t get TV, and no one told us anything about the outsideworld.I began sorting through the information I was hearing for the first time.I realized several things I hadn?t known before.First, there had been a upheaval in the country, where most of the stateswest of the Mississippi River had split off declaring themselves separateand part of what was now being referred to as the Seven NationsTerritory.Second, the government was looking for truck drivers who had suddenlydisappeared with some sort of huge secret or something.Third that they were getting help from a group of people called the FreeAlpha Alliance, who were rumored to be some kind of geneticallyengineered super beings.And finally that there were three private high schools that about halfthe students and their parents had disappeared from. I kept hearingthings like transgendered girls and boys were being taught at them. but Ididn?t. . The fact that he's now dating anothertransgendered woman just proves that (even if Kelly is a lot morefeminine than I am, both in looks and in how she acts). But Kurt- forobvious reasons- was never a macho hunk of a man. He was short, slender,had delicate features... But as Kayla pointed out, he was as much a manas I am a woman. And I AM a woman. I never felt more girly than when Iwas snuggled up on the sofa in Kurt's arms, or when he kissed me...The fact remains, though, that Kurt and I never had sex- or, indeed,engaged in any sexual activity beyond kissing. It's easy to blame thaton us both being pre-op, but it raises one uncomfortable question- wouldI have been as attracted to Kurt if he'd been post-op- or better yet, afully-functional genetic male? Dancing with guys is fun. Kissing guys isfun- well, kissing Kurt was certainly fun. Anything more... Am I beinghomophobic? Or, in my case, heterophobic to recoil at the thought ofpenetrative sex (with me obviously being the one to get.
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