I loved Ray, he wanted sex, I gave it to him. I gave it to him whenever he wanted it, however he wanted it. But after the incident ... Everyone thought that Ray and I were fine. But it took a long time for us to be comfortable with each other again. It was mostly Ray. I forgave him for accusing me after only a few hours, but it took him a long time to get over it.Ray has always had an inferiority complex. But he's especially bad when it comes to me. He used to ask me almost daily why I was with him. And now that I'm clearly on the way down, Ray still loves me so much that I can barely believe it. When that man looks at me, I can feel his love. It warms me and surrounds me like warm beams of sunshine.The funny thing about it is that over the years as I've been going down in terms of looks, Ray has been getting better. But it doesn't really matter because it was never Ray's looks that attracted me to him. It was his kindness and the way he made me feel. I've told you lots of times about. Again, he wasn’t playing along with my attempts to talk dirty and said “no”. (Then why did he ask me to wear my hood?)Then he started changing positions and generally disrupting things. In the course of things my dick started going soft (I don’t like bottoms trying to control the scene), but I did learn one important thing. He really liked feeling my full weight on him.At one point I told him I didn’t think it was going to work and he asked if he had ruined the mood. I just said “whatever” and tried to pass it off. He didn’t seem to want to leave, so we laid there a bit and I jacked my dick. I asked him to suck my dick and he did a half hearted suck for 30 seconds and stopped. Finally I got hard again and climbed on top of him and continued to fuck him. He asked if I just wanted him to be quiet and I said yes…So I’m fucking him on his belly putting all my weight on him. When I don’t have all my weight on him (supporting my upper body on the bed) he tries to get me to change things up.
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