Playing the host, I made myself busy offering her a place to sit and a drink. At the same time I tried to chase the image of her begging Kaitlyn to make her come from my mind. I was shocked when she mentioned, in a small voice, her last visit to my apartment.Until that moment, I had not realized that she could remember what had happened while she was under my control. It had never dawned on me that I had left my "victims'" memories intact, recording the details of their actions.Other details crystallized. I had briefly wondered if Francine had been avoiding me at work but I had been too busy to pay attention. Kaitlyn had left noisily earlier that week. Was this backlash from the lowered inhibitions? When Lucy spoke frankly about her embarrassment, I realized that I was holding my breath. Seeing her, so vulnerable and open, I felt close to her. I admitted to having been consumed by work the last week but apologized for not calling or taking the time to talk with her. I confessed that. My face feels like it’s full of new pimples, real or imagined. My arms are sickly white sticks against this tanned beauty. My wobbly legs are even worse, only by luck covered in jeans. My hair is unkempt, not seeing a barber in over a year.Even so, with this dorky kid beside her, she leans over and gives me a quick peck on the lips. I’m in heaven as she leans back, cranking the muscle car with its guttural roar.“Fasten your seatbelt, Rick. We’re off!”And with that, I’m thrown back into that passenger seat as the gee forces hit. We are flying down the highway when I finally notice the tattoo on the back of her shoulder and another on her hip as she changes gears. I realize that this girl has changed.“So Cousin...” she exaggerates the word, “How’s life?” she yells over the wind and the radio.My voice is still somewhere behind us as it sounds an octave higher and monosyllabic.“Ah, good, I, guess.”I’m trying to watch the road at the same time as I watch her as she weaves around the.
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