Next time it would do you well to ask first.”“A lesson I shall never forget,” Alice said with as much sincerity as she could muster.“Now then, let’s try this again. Properly.”“Excuse me?”“Ask permission, my dear.”“Oh!” She responded, somewhat confused and befuddled for a moment. Then, working up her courage, she formed her request in her head, arranging and rearranging it several times before voicing it as politely as she could.“Please sir, may I trouble you to allow me to rub myself against you for a time?”“Much better,” the knob replied, pride at his erstwhile student’s manner at his prompting.“You may, but only if you promise to give me a proper polishing after so that I am as bright and shiny as before.”“Oh, thank you ever so much!”“My pleasure. And now, if you would like, we can work on your pleasure as well.”Shyly, Alice resumed her position, quite gratified when the knob responded with its tongue, licking her slowly into a state of ecstasy until it was all she could do to stay. The head suitbegan to read the will.There were small bequests to servants and some old friends and even to afew of the suck up third cousins.Larger bequests went to several of Grandmother's favorite charities andcultural projects she had liked to see her name attached to. Then:"To my only Daughter, I leave the remainder of my total estate, less theamounts which are discussed in full in the sealed envelope for myGrandson James, which I give now to my daughter to discuss, in private,with her son, my only grandson, James.This concludes the reading of the Last Will and Testament. Thank you forattending."I had no idea of what could be written inside that envelope. But I had toimagine that Mother had now come into the bulk of several hundred milliondollars. Me, I wasn't so sure.Finally the lawyers and the rest of the herd left us alone. To mourn?Maybe. To celebrate? Maybe.Mother asked me to follow her into her study. We sat in the comfy velvetchairs, side by side, and looked at each.
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