Is your name even Steven? I don't know what to say." I noted that he now had two fingers inside me, gently moving. It wasn't painful, but it wasn't really sex either. I had no idea what he was up to, but was far more fascinated by his story. I chose to ignore the fingers for now."It was Michael. But I've been Steven for almost as long as I was ever Michael; in my head I am Steven. I thought about switching it back when I opted out of Witness Protection, but decided that I am not Michael anymore." Are they still looking for your sister?" Not really. It's an open case file, but the police are all convinced she's dead, her body dumped somewhere it just hasn't ever been found." And what do you think?" I don't know. Part of me is convinced she's alive, wants her to be ... but it's been 15 years. It's pretty unlikely. And if she is alive, what sort of life has she had for the last 15 years? I don't even want to think about it. I felt guilty about her kidnap for a long time after the. She was even more grimly puritanical and prim than my Mom, and a fundamentalist who considered everything an occasion for sin of some kind. But I understood her pain, both physical and emotional, without having it explained to me.That night occurred some years earlier, when I had just turned 6. The commotion woke up Martha Jane's family next door. She and her sister Evelyn came over in their robes and pajamas and Martha Jane went straight over to me because my mother panicked and was rasping, "Get Speedy out of here, get him out of here!" Martha Jane led me to the bedroom, where I looked up at her and whispered so the others wouldn't hear, "I already saw it."She looked down at me. "You did what, hon?"I repeated, looking back to make sure the others couldn't hear us, "I already saw it, Martha Jane. I saw what happened."Martha Jane knelt down to me in her rumpled bathrobe and looked into my eyes with her warm, striking green ones. "Then," she said eyeing me seriously, "you understand.
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