Frank: “Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off ... The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge’s table, asking for directions to the Coors Light truck, when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (Native New Mexicans ) that the chili wouldn’t be all that spicy; and, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted and became Judge #3.Here are the scorecard notes from the event:CHILI # 1 - MIKE’S MANIAC MONSTER CHILIJudge # 1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.Judge # 2 -- Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.Judge # 3 (Frank) -- Holy crap, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that’s the worst one. These New Mexicans are crazy.CHILI # 2 - EL RANCHO’S AFTERBURNER CHILIJudge # 1 -- Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang.Judge # 2 --. I did what she told me and settled in the doggie position she went behind me and I couldn’t see what was going on. I felt her clearly lubed fingers pushing into my asshole. I gasped with pleasure at this new sensation and pushed back on her hand. The next thing I knew she slid a 5 inch inflatable anal plug into my asshole. It was lubed and I felt nothing but pleasure. She started to inflate it and I felt it lodge inside the gripping ring of my asshole. There was a tube coming out of it which she connected to a longer tube which she then attached to what I had thought were shower extensions. She started the flow slowly and I felt the cool water start to seep into my guts, filling me up slowly and with authority. When I felt full I moaned in confusion, “ohhhh fuck I think I’m going to burst!!!” I yelled as she stepped back, pulled the plug out, and watched an eruption or brown water pour out of my asshole. "Unhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!" I moaned ecstatically. My insides felt like they were.
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