I wanted to hug him and killhim. He turned to me. "Gemma, it's so good to see you at last.Come into the light."I stepped towards him timidly. "My, but you are beautiful. Wouldyou like to strip for me?" In this room of textures and colours,objects and lights, so full of sensation I felt dwarfed andunsexy. But would pleasing him mean staying here? And would henot hurt me if he was happy? I began to unzip the back of myskirt. "Oh, no, you don't have to. I just wanted to know if youwould. Actually, I would like you to strip for yourself. Comeover here." He gently pulled my arm until I was standing beforea wardrobe.There was a girl facing me. She was very slim, if not thin. Herface was pale, but soft, and beautifully made up, with large,ruby red lips in an open bow below her button nose. Her softcheekbones were raised sharply by colour, and her large eyeswere framed by arched brows, and deepened by dark, long lashes.Her face was framed by long, rich dark hair which fell over hershoulders.. I still remember how damp my knickers would get during his lectures, how my thighs would involuntarily squeeze together every time he looked at me while he preached of floods and famine and hellfire. I lived for that discomfort.I used to watch him; observe the way he interacted with the other girls, looking for signs. I was certain he favoured this one or that one over me and I put myself through hell conjuring up all manner of depraved things that I was convinced he was getting up to with them. My jealousy knew no bounds. But honestly, I didn’t care if he fucked every girl in the entire congregation, so long as I was one of them.I had always been a good girl, but the day that man came to teach at our school that all changed. Suddenly and for no apparent reason I began talking back to my teachers, even the ones I liked best, and causing little disruptions during class in order to get myself sent to his office.My first two offenses were only met with verbal chastisement. I remember.
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