Karen and Jane were not as impressed with Mustang 1 as I was, but I was sure their attitude would change as soon as they had their own versions. If not, tough! I was happy, no matter what they thought. I had Karen taxi out and take off first because AF1 had been parked in my way. Once she was in the air, I headed out.I raced down the runway and was airborne much more quickly than I had expected. I had automatically pushed the throttle to the maximum cruising position and went roaring away. This plane had all of the advances that AI had been able to glean from the memory of the original local AI, and those people had been able to accomplish miracles with propeller-driven aircraft. They had never bothered with jets, so every one of their planes was subsonic. At full power, the propeller tips were moving at supersonic speed, and the wear was phenomenal. That was why I had been careful not to rev the propeller up to full speed. I wouldn’t do that except for real need. Nevertheless, I. .I felt powerless.It was like I was being fucked.I couldn't do anything about it.I had no will of my own and had become a spectator of my own life. Itwas no longer about what I was doing, but what was being done to me.These are classic symptoms of depression or the blues.As I sat there waiting for the kettle to boil, Sarah came into thekitchen."John, you know that when you dress as a girl, you need to have a newname. We can't go round calling you John. I think it would beempowering for you, on becoming a girl, to choose your own name."A normal guy, determined to hold on to his masculinity, who found himselfdressed like me might have noticed how Sarah had stated "When you dressas a girl" where such a guy might have said "If you dress as a girl." Hemight also have said that he would not be becoming a girl and it wouldnot be empowering for him to choose a girl's name for himself.But as I have already indicated, I was depressed and was pretty muchresigned to the inevitability of my.
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