Just shut the fuck up for once,’ Sam interrupted, again with that tone of resignation in her voice, ‘Don’t you realise how hard this is for me?’ Her eyes turned slightly sad now, frustrated, and still ashamed. ‘I’m sorry. I’m being an insensitive bastard, aren’t I?’ I asked in a low, apologetic voice. Her lips twitched as she prevented a smile. ‘You’re not a bastard, you know your parents. But I think tosser would be an accurate description.’ ‘Come here, pal.’ I said, reaching out for her. She moved over the sofa willingly, sat onto my lap and leaned against my chest as I placed my chin on her shoulder and looped my arms around her. ‘Now … Do you mind explaining to me why you need me to fuck you?’ I asked. It was quiet for a long time after I spoke. The silence lasted so long, I started to toy with the thought that she changed her mind so we could drop this subject and continue as we used to be. We were Sam and Leon. Leon and Sam. We teased each other, we toyed with each other, we. Sharing the experience let them know they were not alone, that they had each other to rely on, to care for. That was not my experience. I had myself and the baseball.I'm not really sure I saw that game the same night I saw the two girls. I'm not even sure what city they called home. Time on the road was mostly a black and white collage of meaningless moments.When you are happily married and on the road, the emptiness of the experience is easy to recognize. You can call your wife every night. What can you say about your day? "I had lunch alone and got back to work and figured out that much of the sales information can be shared with the marketing department." You can tell her you had dinner in the restaurant last night and went back to your room to watch TV. You ask how her day was without you. This scintillating exchange is not the stuff that binds relationships. At best it keeps them on life support. At least she has her friends at home. You are alone.You are likely to meet some.
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