The next day I called again, again you picked up but with a strange feeling, "Hello Sir" I had a big smile on my face, you are a quick learner."Hello slut, that's better" You wanted to say something but I stopped you "Shut up and listen" "Tomorrow you go shopping, you buy the shortest black leather skirt you can find, a Black see through blouse and rec high heels, I don't care if you have those things already, you buy it all new" I hung up again.The next day I called again and you greeted me again with "Hello Sir" Did you do what i told you to do" "Yes Sir, I did" That's good, Now listen, go get an pen and paper and write this down" I heard you walking and picking up things "I have it Sir" Tomorrow at 6 PM, you take a shower, you don't shave your pussy. After that you put on heavy make-up, eye shadow and red lipstick. You put on the skirt and the blouse, no bra and no panties. You use your best perfume a use lots of it, people must smell you from far. Got That" Yes Sir" Oké, at 8 pm. I shook my head. “Is this...dissociation...affecting your day to day life?” “I guess.” I’d replied. “Sometimes I unpack my folder at the end of the day and find pages and pages of lecture notes in there, so I know I went to my lectures that day...but I have no recollection of being there. The other day I spent 5 hours working alone in the lab, but when my flatmate asked me what I’d done, I couldn’t tell her. It’s kind of scary. How can I know that I’m being sensible and safe if I don’t even know what I’m doing?” She looked at me, concerned, but not shocked. That was what I liked about her. “What about other aspects of your life? Are you able to interact normally with your friends? Family? Do you have a boyfriend?” The last question startled me. I felt the familiar shame creeping up my neck, my cheeks getting hot. “G-girlfriend,” I offered; both a reply and an apology. My sexuality was a source of great embarrassment and discontent to me, and I suspected largely to blame for.
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