We were at my youngest child’s appointment. We were in the exam room. All of a sudden there was a lot of movement in the hallway. It wasn’t an emergency or anything, it just became busy. Between the activity in the hallway and the discussion in the room it triggered the anxiety thing. The doctor bless her heart is an exuberant person by nature. She said something really loud. I about came unglued and said “DON’T DO THAT!”. I startled everyone including myself as it jumped right out of my mouth. I apologized and explained my situation. So it looks like I get to carry my sensory equipment everywhere now.An unexpected thing is that during an anxiety episode heavy metal or tribal music is soothing in an unusual way. When I say heavy metal I mean death metal, the fringe type of metal. Hardcore heavy metal. What is unexpected about it is at any other time I can’t stand the sound of it. During an anxiety attack it is as though a part of my mind is racing like an engine without a gear. I also have a steady income and am disease free, no skeletons in my closet. I was, unfortunately, raised in a very sheltered and protective environment. I did not have a wild and exciting youth. I am working to correct that defect.’ He nodded his head. ‘Nicely done. I am impressed, and intrigued.’ ‘As am I?’ She leaned in a bit. Their faces were a foot apart. He looked at her. She was even prettier up close. She was wearing a pink oxford blouse, very much like a man’s dress shirt. He took a quick glance, she had three buttons open. The skin between her breasts was the same fair, but robust, color as her face. He could see the edges of her brassiere. It was pink, almost the same color as her blouse. Nice, she coordinates her underwear, he thought. He made sure it was just a very quick glance and then looked her in the eye. ‘I have an idea. Since this is a safe environment, and despite my flirtation with stalking for the last few days, we have maintained enough privacy and dignity to.
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