.. most of the time. Our sex life was irregular, but probably averaged only about once or twice a month. Dawn used to have a very high sex drive but it had declined significantly over the years and became, in the end, just another one of her means of controlling me. If I initiated sex, invariably I would be refused. She always initiated lovemaking ... except that this was now just fucking now, pure sex rather than any actual love. Bad sex is still better than no sex at all, but not by much.The children all looked to their mothers for guidance, the eldest that were nearly grown especially so. I had been permitted very little input into their raising and every attempt I had ever made to subject even minor discipline onto them resulted in loud violent family fights, as invariably their mothers would storm in to their rescue.While home recuperating, I began to discover just how appallingly low my stock had fallen in the household. Even the youngest children, treated me at the dinner table. Jennifer had promised herself years before that she was going to retire when she was thirty. That was three and a half years off, and sometimes she wondered if she could hold out. But those were Jenny Easton thoughts, and she had to remind herself that Jenny was back out on the coast, somewhere.She flipped on the radio in the car; it came on with some local station, playing a polka. She found herself singing along with Frankie Yankovich, "Roll out the barrel, we'll have a barrel of fun..."If Linda Ronstadt can do a mariachi record, she thought, I ought to be able to do a polka record. Boy, wouldn't Knox strip a gear when he heard about that! Now, that was a Jennifer thought, the Jennifer she liked to remember -- mischievous, needling people's pretensions, the Jennifer that was in control of herself, of her own destiny, capable of handling anything.The miles flew by as she headed up the state road to Spearfish Lake. The radio station playing on the car radio was rather eclectic; it.
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