I am not good at this. At conversation. She is surprised and careful. I bet she thinks I’m the wife of one of the men she takes home. So, I quickly add:“I would like to use your services… For myself. If you… offer your services to women, that is.”She relaxes and the room warms up with her smile: “That’s a bit of an unusual way to approach me.”“I’m sorry.”“Don’t be! Let’s talk! And yes, I am happy to be with women.”She orders her coffee, and so do I. While we are waiting for our orders, she does some small talk about the café. There is nothing I could possibly add to the conversation, I rarely come here. But I smile and nod and agree with everything she says because it sounds so right.We walk over to a booth and slide in opposite each other.Facing her so close for the first time, I savor everything I see. Her eyes are dark brown and huge, and they seem to burst with curiosity and life. Her brown hair falls to her shoulders in a calculated wavy mess. Her jawline is very pronounced and. “Mom, you are wrong. It was a beautiful. And I am not a child; I am an adult. I will be 18 in two months. I am old enough to vote; I am old enough to serve in the military, I am certainly old enough to know who I want for my sexual partner; and I want you.”Eric’s words sent me searching for a response. “Eric, I am flattered, and I understand your confusion. I am quite confused myself. But what we did, what I did last night is wrong by any measure. If people knew, they would put me in jail for what we did!”“Mom, no one will ever know what happens between you and me. That is something that I will never discuss with anyone. I promise you that.” I could tell he was trying to alleviate my deepest fear, my fear that people would find out. He was right, I was afraid of being caught in addition to my overwhelming guilt. “Eric, that is not the point. The point is what we did was wrong. And it cannot happen again.” I was trying to be resolute in my statement; but even as I said it, I.
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