Grindr. It felt like a well-worn pair of shoes. I'd spent many hours flipping through profiles on this thing, and today, I was determined to sneak away to... connect with someone. I'd even resolved myself to lowered standards, like when you check the kitchen drawers for the third time, accepting that there's nothing good, so you'll eat anything. Grindr was like that sometimes. Nothing great, so you settle. This time, however, I was in luck.The very first profile. A green dot indicating "online", and best of all: "94 feet away". Or, I should say, what was really best of all was the picture. He was 1. black, 2. my age, and 3. fucking fine as all hell. Smooth skin, a thin, well-trimmed beard, and a perfect smile. I began to thing this must be one of those bot accounts. The profile pic looked like a model, which isn't a good sign. But I thought, might as well, right? I shot off a message, a quick, "Hey, what's up?" and checked his bio while I waited.Name: "SandyCheeks4..." and then an up. ”“All right.”“Clint, you don’t need me to tell you how important you are in my life.”He shrugged, Mr. Conversation.I tried a different tact, “Look if you come to Kansas City — I want you to come to Kansas City — I’m all yours. I’ll drop everything to be with you. I mean ... well, it depends on work, but other than that...”He nodded. Mr. Noncommittal. His silence was like a boulder.I bit back a sharp retort. This was how breakups occurred. Permanent damage. I calmed myself.We didn’t hold hands on the walk back to 3rd Avenue. xxxxxxxxxxIn preparation for the Arlington retrial, I was finally able to prevail on Sandy Seaver to provide a voluntary deposition for Judge Vivian Lauderdale. I told him, “It’ll be private — just you and Caitlin and me. The judge and her stenographer.”“Why do it all?”“Because Arlington now has a major league attorney. Because I’ll have to testify about my role in the case. Because I don’t know where Longmire will take me. How much I’ll be forced to.
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