That is why they scream when the boar dismounts.”“Oh my god, really? You're not joking?” Linda actually winced as I described it.“Nope, Pete's telling the truth. We never raised pigs, but when I was in 4H I knew k**s that did. I always hated them. They are mean, dirty, will eat anything, and you know they want to kill and eat you if they could. They are actually among the most dangerous farm a****ls there are.”“Pigs, really?”“Well, more are probably killed by cattle. But bulls tend to be aggressive, and you never get between a cow and her calf. But for pure meanness, pigs are the worst. They're omnivores, and there are many cases of them not only killing farmers, but actually eating them. Reality is nothing like Charlotte's Web Linda.”By this time the sun was heading towards the horizon, and we headed on home. After dinner Kim suggested we go skating. Linda and I both agreed, and Kim suggested I put the beer in an ice chest and throw them into the back of the truck as she and Linda. .. Action!”I stepped off the bank, into the water. Kimberly must have thought if she leapt, it would be a shorter distance to the other shore. I stepped into muck up to my knee. Kimberly’s momentum caused her to face-plant into about the grossest water imaginable. When she tried to push herself up, she had green slime in her hair and her hands began to sink. If I hadn’t been there, she might have been in real trouble.Imagine the reaction of any teenage girl in a dress with heels on who is now covered in green stinky slime. I think bursting into tears would be right at the top of the list, which she did. Suddenly trying to climb up my body and shrieking like I was killing her was not expected. That was until two crocodiles eased out of the brush and started for us.In a moment like that, all grace goes out the window. All I can say is it was good that I was an athlete. I might have set a new forty time as I pounded to the shore. I ran past the cameras because I figured it was every man.
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