"Hey, can I come over? You got a dope body," he said, looking her up and down. She ignored him, she kept staring at Matt, her eyes brimming with tears."Shut up!" was all Matt could manage. He looked down at his hands, God, why can't she stop staring at me like that? He looked up again, meeting her steady gaze. Her eyes suddenly turned hostile, no longer sad. Her chest heaved up and down. Matt was petrified she was going to scream, "I HATE YOU!" at the top of her lungs. Instead, she spun on her heels and walked away.His friends were busy laughing."Fuck you!" he said to them angrily."Hey, we were only kidding man," said Terry."Fuck you!" Matt yelled. He got his bag from the bench and left, wanting to kill himself as he peddled furiously home. He thought how easy it would be to swerve into traffic. He almost did it too, he'd never hated himself so much.For the next week they completely avoided each other. Matt still thought about her constantly of course. His parents, knowing he was. Twenty minutes later I was standing in the shower washing the dried sweat from my body. In a calmer frame of mind I realised Pete was right; what harm could possibly come from meeting the young man in the open for a drink? He was hardly going to demand money with menaces in front of an audience, I told myself.At work I handled difficult colleagues, patients and their families on a weekly if not daily basis; I should be able to handle a twenty-something young man. If he raised the issue of my night with Darren I would simply have to stonewall him until Pete returned.The problem night not arise at all. Pete and I could get on with our lives; perhaps even including the wife sharing he was getting so impatient about taking part in. As he had said so often, I had got what I wanted out of our lifestyle; it was time he had a taste of his fantasy too.As that fantasy was to watch me being fucked but other men, our desires were highly compatible - especially now we might have found a real if.
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