Or so I had thought ... locked up in my safe at home. I hadn't even copyrighted it, knowing that if I did, it would be in the purview of the public. "How... ?" was all I could say.He clapped his hands delightedly and began making a strange, rhythmic grunting sound (that I would eventually come to recognize as laughter). "'That's IT, ain't it?" he announced with glee."Where ... where did you get this?" I asked. Already, the implications of him possessing this were staggering. I would be left with ... nothing! "Who did you talk to? How did you... ?" I didn' get it ANYWHERE, bloke! I figgered it out! Y' posted yer findins, so I had a startin' point and an end point. Fillin' in the stuff in the middle was a right proper little problem!"I leaned heavily against one of the desks. "So ... you don't need me," I said dully. "You've got all you need right here! All except the crystal ... and it'll only be a matter of time before you put THAT problem together, too. Why did you even ask me to. I am kept awake for longer periods, Natalie feeds me soups and puddings, not easy with my mouth clamped open. In time I learn to swallow that way if small portions of soft foods and placed in my mouth. Sometime they come in to look me over, sometimes I’m left alone with my thoughts, and those are most unpleasant times. I still have no idea what has happened to me, but all the possibilities terrify me. I cry often, scream sometimes (although it comes out as a small, shrill squeal . . . an animal sound to my ears). I really try NOT to think, and am sometimes successful in that, just emptying my mind and ?being?. When I do ?think? and wonder the thoughts are so awful that I must try hard to push them out of my mind. I feel no pain anymore, although I am still unable to move, speak or close my mouth.At some point Mimi, a woman we know who is a tattoo artist and piercer comes to see me along with Debra and Suzanne. She stands looking at me for a while, then says to Debra, ?yeah, what we.
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