He's got a ladder, a baseball bat, 12-gauge shotgun, and a mean heavily scarred old dog."What are you going to do?" the homeowner asks."I'm going to put this ladder up against the roof, then I'm going to go up there and I'll knock the bear off the roof with this baseball bat.When the bear falls off the roof, the dog is trained to grab his testicles and not let go.The bear will then be subdued enough for me to put him in the cage in the back of the van."He then hands the shotgun to the homeowner."What's the shotgun for?" asks the homeowner."If the bear knocks me off the roof, shoot the dog."This one is compliments of Chuck...A young law student, having failed his Law exam, goes up to his crusty old professor, who is renowned for his razor-sharp legal mind.Student: "Sir, do you really understand everything about this subject?"Professor: "Actually, I probably do. Otherwise I wouldn't be a professor, would I?"Student: "OK. So I'd like to ask you a question. If you can give me the correct. ..Since Em had been sacked by the University, she hadn't been able to find any work that properly utilised her skills, she'd been blacklisted. I was her main employer, but even I had to be careful in case there were charges of nepotism from the staff, residents, or board. Being in charge did restrict my freedom is some very oblique ways. Em could only do so much in the woods, and the house could not be touched, because she had it right. God, where on earth would we fit a baby? Even though we slept in the same bed for much of the time, there were still frequent nights when, for various reasons we preferred to sleep apart. There would be no spare room, or no room for me in Em's bedroom ... Now my mind was beginning to spin as fast as hers. Was she bored? Was it as simple as that? Of course it couldn't be, not with Em, but I had to check for my own peace of mind."Is this because you're not making proper us of that huge brain of yours?' I asked, trying not to make it sound like she was.
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