Beverly drives him to the airport and, as is her feminine wont, understands and does not require speech from him. A simple kiss good bye. ‘Be careful! Be good. Take care of yourself.’ Call me!’ Her total contribution. The flight back to the Midwest is long and tiring. Sleep comes only in fits and starts. Each tiny segment of sleep contains a dream, each one of dad. The loving images from his early youth struggle for a place amid later recriminations, curses, screams and yes, abuse. Beloved images struggle to keep their heads above a sea of alcohol. Raucous, cheerful, gift-filled and joyful Christmases that often turned into screaming matches or actual fights between family members. Baseball games and bike rides and cotton candied circuses. Smiles earned in one of Dad’s numerous trivia quizzes. Brutal sarcasm in place of praises earned. A frozen moment flashes through his fitful doze. His earliest memory! ‘Was he two, three?’ Giggling, perched upon his dad’s shoulders one hand holding. We didn't do things alone but we went as a group. Usually we went to a movie or bowling. She always had some girlfriends with her. Sometimes I would bring a date or just go with her and her friends. I told her I didn't want to go out with her and any of her boyfriends. I tried it once and it was too uncomfortable. It made her smile; I know she thought of it as me being protective of her but the truth be known, I was jealous.I would hug and kiss her friends in a playful manner. The kisses were only on the cheek even though I knew her friends wanted more. I don't know how many times I told them to come back when they were eighteen, and everyone would laugh.One evening, it was about midnight when I was getting ready to close the store. A really good looking red-headed gal came into the store. She was really drunk. She staggered in and asked to use the phone."Can I yoze er phone, pease? I got ta cal a cab, I tink I'm dr... drunk and need a wide... eride." She was pretty far gone.I went.
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