I think you could begin with something more dramatic that draws the reader into the story more rapidly. It’s the third page before we have a clue that they are boarding a spaceship. Lead with it. Even a simple a sentence of thought from the main character that said, ‘I took one last look at the earth before I boarded for my journey to the stars.’ Something that immediately sets the scene. Then you can deal with the weight of his baggage, the nods to people he knew and worked with, and the scurry of preparing his room and meeting his neighbors. The way it reads at the moment, he might be arriving on campus for his second year of college. Once you got past the slightly awkward opening, though, the story arc took shape in a well-defined progression of events that made life on the spaceship reasonable and believable if the reader is capable of believing science fiction at all. Some readers aren’t, you know.”“I’ve met a few,” I nodded.“Now the character arc is a bit uneven. First of all,. “No,” Timothy answered.Errol now took on the role of teacher and explained about douching and etcetera. After guiding Timothy through the procedure, Errol exited the bathroom so that Timothy could complete the task.When Timothy joined Errol in the bedroom, he was nervously excited.Still assuming the mantle of the instructor, Errol now explained that spit was the only lube he used.“Spit and your natural arse juices are far better than bought lubrication, which diminishes the sensation of anal sex. Of course, entry is slower and less comfortable, but once you get going, the reward is worthwhile,” Errol explained.Timothy had no knowledge of anal sex and had to take the experienced suggestion by Errol at face value. That, however, only followed later, because Timothy first ended up on his back, before Errol commenced rimming as well as sucking Timothy’s dick. The sensation of Errol’s actions was incredible, and Timothy could not believe the advanced course he was receiving in m2m sex.As.
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