I keep waking with the overwhelming feeling that that is where I should attend college. I know my parents want me to attend Oxford here, but Harvard is just as noteworthy, is it not? It is not too late to change my mind, I got my acceptance letter a month ago, but I did not want to disappoint my parents. I think I will just pack up and go, I have a full scholarship, looks like all my studying may pay off. My friends will either say I am completely pathetic for chasing a girl who may be a figment of my imagination, or think I am the coolest, craziest guy they know. Aww bloody hell, I will do it, my family is always telling me I can do whatever I set my mind to. The letter I will keep simple tell them where I am going and what I am doing, and that I will see the for Christmas. Heh maybe I will just fuck with em and write it in Gaelic, let them puzzle over it for a while. It is so strange flying away from home on my own, I am almost regretting it a little. What if this leads me nowhere?. But I lost that years ago, so, dressed asyou are, I was secretly ashamed of the looks you and I got ... Thestares... The ridicule... The humiliation that came our way... And Ihad to walk with you and me holding hands and I had to hold all myemotion in check, the anger and disappointment knowing you were afraud... Knowing people are wondering how a normal girl like me could beattracted to you, all of them wondering if I'm a lesbian or a man-hateror just some queer who's into sissies... Plus the gender amorphism... Ithought being married to an attractive, devoted woman who revered andloved you would help. You said as much... All the blather about howmarriage would undo the 'trauma of your childhood' and make a man ofyou... What a joke! Just look at you... It's worse now than ever... Youcould be on the cover of Vogue... Could any guy look more effeminate,more ultra-feminine, and less like a man? Christ, we're like girlfriendstogether, except you're girlier... Construction workers.
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