8- You’re just upset because your a****is beginning to spread.7- Wait a minute -- I get it. What time of the month is it?6- You’re sure you don’t want to consult the great Oprah on this one?5- Sorry, I was just picturing you nekked.4- Whoa, time out. Football is on.3- Looks like someone had an extra bowl of bitch flakes this morning!2- Is there any way we can do this via e-mail?1- Who are you kidding? We both know that thing ain’t loaded.Food For Thought“Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.”This one is compliments of UgeeayIf you are from the deep south (USA) you can relate!Three women were sitting in a beauty parlor. The first women turned to the others and said “I’m so excited! This is my fifth wedding anniversary. My husband gave me a dozen roses this morning, a beautiful diamond bracelet and he is taking me to an elegant restaurant tonight”The second women said “how wonderful.”The third smiled and said “how nice for you!”The second woman said “on my fifth anniversary. Of course, once we got older and my tart of a current step-mother came along it got a lot naughtier. The girls found convivial other half’s but I never have. Well not possibly until up now?”There was a distinct element of a question in that last statement. I now understood all his nervousness and went out of way to reassure. After all I wasn’t any shrinking violet. If I behaved it was because that is what was expected of me not my own nature.The next weekend went equally well and David thought that the eight of us should go out for a meal on Saturday night. I hadn’t brought anything suitable with me having worked on the principal that jeans. a couple of tops, wellies and trainers would be all that was required. The solution to this was that Clare announced that us girls were going shopping. I loved it that I was included in ‘the girls’I was in heaven because the feeling of being included was fantastic. Whilst I had friends none of them were close and it was rare, I went shopping with.
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