That doesn't change what I want. I may not be able to have it. I can live with that. It may be a mistake. I can live with that, too." He gave me a sudden smile. "It's not the most romantic proposition I've ever made, but it's the truest." It's funny how much stuff can go through your mind at a moment like that. I suppose I ought to have been indignant or flattered or just one emotion, but instead I was all of those and more: aware of the posturing so I would always be the _correct_ person Paul married, aware of the marriage-bed juggling (_too_tired_tonight_but_he_did_last_week_when_I_wanted_and_next_week's_my_ period_), proud Gil asked me, worried it was wrong, scared I'd forgotten how to _be_ anyone else, to be _with_ anyone else, and most of all I was desperately overwhelmingly horny! And I knew I'd said yes, even though I hadn't opened my mouth. Gil threw money onto the table and held his hand out for me to take. His hand was warm and his grip strong: he kept firm pressure on my. " What about YOU?" Got one. Just don't carry much ... It's a problem at work, a lot of places you go, they don't like it. I'll start carrying when we're out together. We'll get you trained and permitted. And we just have to pay more attention to where we are and who's around us." I don't mean to be a drag, baby," I said.Those fingers played with my neck along the collar of my blouse. "Jess, I'd stand between you and a horde of screaming barbarians armed with a straw broom." But before me, you didn't have any of this crap. Now you have an irate daughter..." She's always irate about something." A pissed-off ex..." Who might not have been an 'ex' if she knew how to smile..." And all the baggage I bring with me..." Back to that horde of barbarians and me and my broom. I love you, angel..." This crap is because I wasn't exactly an angel, Barry." You've told me. I accept that. It's history. That's all. History." You sure, Barry?" I said it softly. He looked at my eyes. He does that, like.
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