The ex-wife called the man and asked how things were going. He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely and said that she missed her old home terribly and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house. Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on a price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth, but only if she were to sign the papers that very day. She agreed and within the hour his lawyers delivered the paperwork.A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home ... and to spite the ex-wife, they even took the curtain rods.IRISH HOOKERAn Irish couple are having hard financial times, so they decide that she'll try being a hooker.She's not quite sure what to do, so the husband says, "Stand in front of that bar and pick up a guy. Tell him you charge a hundred dollars. Any questions and I'll be parked around the. " He hung up the phone and headed for the bathroom where he rid himself of the last of the beer. He was feeling a little better now after having had a few hours sleep, although he certainly would have been in no condition to drive. He returned to the kitchen and sat beside the phone, waiting stoically for 15 minutes to pass.When the time had elapsed he dialed the Hyatt Inn, the number burned into his memory from the many times he had called her there previously, and asked for room 612. It came as no surprise to him when the phone went unanswered for a dozen rings before he finally hung up. He wondered if they were joking about some new plan to get him to call her earlier in the future, and he also wondered if his failure to call Keri would have a detrimental effect on their screwing tonight. He finally decided that he really didn't give a damn, but then he realized that they would probably be screwing while he sat here thinking about it. That realization brought tears back to his eyes.
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