I almost put Emily number two, but realized that the reason I invested so much in my job was because I wanted a comfortable life. Then Emily and Bruce and Lily. Finally, school. I started crying.Damn it! Even when I was pregnant and alone and Jim gave me a place to live, I’d never cried in front of him. But there was the truth. My precious daughter ranked number three and my lovers number four.“I think you need to reprioritize where you invest yourself.”I couldn’t just abandon the business and I knew Jim didn’t want me to. He was making a huge amount of money from my work. And I would be letting Gordon down, as well. And my family needed the money. The comfortable life was for them. That’s what I told myself.But I had to admit that the motivating factor for that was that in my former life, I’d felt powerless and having my own business and money was a way to take the power back.I went back to the list that Jim had written down for me and decided to reconstruct it. I needed to define. Inside on one side was a pool table and some card tables, and a bar with football on the TV. A glitter ball spun slowly over a small parquet dance floor and several couches lined the walls. An open doorway led into a back room. There were two couples slow-grinding under the glitter ball, a couple of guys with a curvy brunette playing pool, and three women on one of the couches chatting.I went over to the couch and my eyes lit on a redhead in a well-filled tube top and short skirt. I introduced myself as a first-timer there, and she agreed to help me feel like one of the family. I held out my hand and she pulled herself up out of the couch, tube top jiggling pleasantly, her head coming just up to my height.We went to the foyer window and she stamped a time card, then took my hand and led me through the open doorway to the back area where there were small leather couches -- almost loveseats - - with coffee tables and a bit of dance floor near each. The light was dimmer here, and we.
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