Sooner or later, they would return.And with the return of those feelings came almost a feeling ofresignation. ?Yes, this is who I am. A freak, a pervert. It is my lotin life.?So, yes, I was a lonely, frightened boy, who loved feminine things, whodreamt that his mother would discover his secret and that it would becomeTHEIR secret, who loved his time alone so he could create thisalternative universe in his mind, where he could dress in pretty things,and wear high heels and makeup.And then, one day, it all changed?..I was home alone. I did not know how long my mother would be out for, soI resisted the urge to go upstairs to her bedroom to try on some of herthings. I did not want to be caught. Instead, I found one of herfashion magazines. This was almost as good, because I would take it tomy room, take my panties out of their hiding place, get under my covers,and as I thumbed through the pages, I would imagine that it was ME inthose pages, especially the makeup ads. In my. That sight awakened Ari to just how shameless her behavior was and allowed her to at last step back, and let Amos go.The house felt empty, and she went through an ever-changing range of emotions for the rest of the day, from smiling thinking about his coming proposal, to sobbing because he was gone. She collapsed physically and emotionally exhausted that night quite early.She awoke the next morning with a great sigh, staring longingly at the empty half of the bed next to her. At least I got plenty of rest, she thought as she rose and went to brush out her hair. There was plenty of work to do today, and that would help take her mind off things — somewhat.Ari didn't even have a chance to get started before she heard a knock on her door. She went to answer it, wondering who would be calling so early in the morning. When she opened the door, Lillian gathering her up in her arms startled her."I heard, you poor dear. Come on, let's get to your work and then give this house a good.
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