Despising them, even. I have noticed myself becoming hateful and bitter. I hate that I was not good enough to deserve his love and have found myself sitting and wondering what was wrong with me. He has turned me into a person that I am not and I can slowly feel more and more of myself slipping away. Still, I pathetically dream of him and the life I so desperately wish to live with him and only him. I think of a life full of unconditional love and happiness. I wish to come home to a house full of our memories together, the hardships we overcame to be together and all the delights that followed. I dream of Christmas mornings and hearing our children run into the living room to see if Santa had come. I dream of a daughter and a son playing outside with him, chasing them through the garden and playing hide and seek. I long to lay on his chest at the end of the day just to hear his heart beating and find that the rhythm of my own beat is synchronised with his. I want to wake up every. Well he's got a pair atleast. Then he puts a three down and then another. Well, wellrespectable at least. Still I've one and I reach for the tape, onlybefore I can pick it up he puts his hand on top of it stopping me. Ilook at him confused, he just smiles putting down a third three. Shit,I've been played.Before he can say anything I am up and running into the corridor,perhaps if I can make it to my room...?But he's too fast, I feel him grab me from behind and pick me up. Hethen caries me, fireman style back into the living room. He plops medown on the sofa. "Hold still Emma and this will be over in a minute."He isn't lying; within a few minutes my legs are bound at my knees andankles. The tops of my arms are bound to my torso and my wrists arebound together in front of me. I wriggle about but I only manage to slipoff the sofa bumping my bum again."Right," he looks at me like a cat who has cornered a mouse, "I guessthere's only one place left to tape." Hey, wait, what? Mmph!" I cry.
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