All of a sudden there was a lot of movement in the hallway. It wasn’t an emergency or anything, it just became busy. Between the activity in the hallway and the discussion in the room it triggered the anxiety thing. The doctor bless her heart is an exuberant person by nature. She said something really loud. I about came unglued and said “DON’T DO THAT!”. I startled everyone including myself as it jumped right out of my mouth. I apologized and explained my situation. So it looks like I get to carry my sensory equipment everywhere now.An unexpected thing is that during an anxiety episode heavy metal or tribal music is soothing in an unusual way. When I say heavy metal I mean death metal, the fringe type of metal. Hardcore heavy metal. What is unexpected about it is at any other time I can’t stand the sound of it. During an anxiety attack it is as though a part of my mind is racing like an engine without a gear engaged. When I hear that music the racing engine engages it and quits. This will be a piece of cake.”“And we need to limit our affection in public.”Sadly, “Nooooo.”“No kissing. No hands below the belt. If there’s a slip, stop without making a scene.”Irritated, “OK, already!”“This will be the hardest part for you—limiting your carefree spirit. So give it a lot of thought.”Reluctantly, “I’ll try. ‘Nuff said.”Firmly, “No. You can do. You will do.”“Wow. You can be tough.”With a compassionate hug, “When I need to be, but I hate it.”18 FUN GUNTwo days later, Jeff stops at Sean’s house, “You called it, Sean—Alex pushed for info. You prepared me well. I played my cards perfectly.”“Did you have to get mad at him?”“Yeah. He still pressed. So I got more mad saying, ‘You may like being gay, but I don’t.’ Then he backed off. It went as planned.”“Good. But it sounds like he may press you again. If so, ask him kindly to respect your feelings—as good friends, to respect your wishes. You may want to apologize for your anger, if you’ve done that in the past. But get.
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