I need to dismount. For girls like us, it comes straight out. I needto have a Kleenex or two on hand."What a great way to start the day," he said."Just the first of the day," I replied, placing the wet tissues on thebedside table.He brushes my hair to one side and kisses me. This is more than justsex.The crazy thing is that I did not always want to be a girl. Now, inthis moment, I would not be anything else.It started with a dare. It was supposed to be a costume for a party.Dressing in drag. Then my girlfriend at the time said, "We won't need awig. With hair as long as yours we just need a few curls."A few curls was all it took. Once my face was clear and smooth, thosecurls dancing about when I shook my head, made me feel like somebodyelse. Instead of performing like Rue Paul at the party I found myselftalking to the girls as if I belonged with them.The first time I was introduced to a guy, it was to someone who knew meas a guy, but he did not recognize me. He thought I was. She muttered, ‘I didn’t hear the assignment…do I have to have a partner?’ Vaughn snorted somewhere nearby, ‘Why do you even come to class if you’re not going to pay attention?’ His desire to humiliate her and increase Noah’s respect for him was a dismal failure. Emma said nothing. His professor, fighting the urge to say, ‘Shut the fuck up!’ just shot him a dirty look. When Noah reached to the center of the table, she took note of the large, wide bowls of paint for the first time. Primary colors. Red. Blue. Yellow. She looked from the grade school-like paper to the paints and finally to him. He looked her in the eye and said, ‘You and I will…play off one another. I put down a stroke. Youput down a stroke. We create together. Yes, you have to have a partner.’ She stared. Words wouldn’t come. Looking into her eyes, he wished he could walk around the table and pull her close. He wanted to apologize. He wished he’d called. But, at the time, he was afraid it would only make things.
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