She spent an hour calming me down, but despite her soothing words, I couldn't fall asleep the rest of the night. The next day at school I was a wreck. I couldn't tell Suzi or Joey what was wrong. I wanted to tell them to run and hide from me, and never let me find them. I couldn't get the images out of my head. I finally broke down in my sixth hour class. It was all suddenly too much for me. I just put my head down into my arms on the desk and started crying. I went for about five minutes before someone noticed. When Mrs. Taut put her hand on my back and asked what was wrong, I looked up at her and accidentally looked in her eyes. The brief contact with my horror and sorrow made her gasp. She still didn't understand why I was crying, but she knew I was becoming so lost in grief I would be a danger to myself. The thought hadn't formed in my own head, but she knew I would attempt suicide if I didn't get help. She took me down to the nurses’ office, and was taking to both Principle. "I tried not to smile. This was vintage Emily. Her pendulum with Brenda, was beginning to swing back the other way, just as it had so many times with me. She and I had fought most of the time, and usually over things that she had changed her mind about. I wondered how Brenda was going to react to this development in the way Emily reacted. I wondered also whether them being at odds would polarize the group. It was difficult to find any one way of doing things, to satisfy so many different people. We didn't all want the same things from the group, and didn't even agree on what our primary focus should be."Are things really changing, Emily, or are you just reacting to Brenda now having more sex partners than she's had before?" Both. Look who she picked for her last two times with you, Shirley and Joyce. She does that partly because she knows it hurts me." She picked Shirley, just to make a point. She didn't even go through with it, not until I made her lick her. You already knew she.
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