She was genuinely surprised at seeing me and only stood there in the doorway making no attempt to let me in. Since I was freezing I had to say something, "Are you going to let me in or do you wish to wait until I turn into an ice sculpture?"Sandra regained her composure and opened the door wider so that I could enter. She showed me the way to the living room and we sat down in their very comfortable leather sofa without saying a word. Sandra was the first one to break the silence."I was not expecting you to be here. I kind of figured you were screwing my girlfriend silly right about now."Sandra tried to sound carefree but I could tell she was upset."Sandra, we..." I replied but Sandra interrupted me."Shit. Jessica couldn't do it because of the rape, could she? Is she okay? I know the number of her counse..." Sandra. Let me finish. This has nothing to do with the rape. You and I need to have a little talk," I interrupted her back.I imagine Sandra's head must have been going into. When I left home to go out to Colorado for school, my father was so angry that he refused to speak to me for a week before I left, and continued not speaking with me for two months after I got there. My mother spent the entire 90-minute drive to the train station haranguing me about what a horrible decision I was making.My grandmother ... my 80-year-old grandmother living on Social Security in Section 8 housing ... offered to cosign five figures worth of student loans. She had always believed in me, no matter what I had in mind to do. She always supported me and encouraged me – and, as always, I was overwhelmed with appreciation for the offer, even as I declined it.Listening to that song before the race serves as a mental prompt to remember her in these moments, to invite her spirit to stand on the sidelines, screaming as loud as she can in her native Brooklyn accent, cheering me on and urging me toward the finish.The third song of the morning was where I began to mentally shift.
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