He kissed my temple and deposited me on a chair next to Gwen. She handed me a beer and we sat in silence watching the men clean up. I relaxed in my seat, spying a game of Jenga on the bookshelf. I grabbed it and held it up, giving Gwen a challenging look. She giggled and we ended up playing several games, the men joining us after they were done. Gwen was on her third beer just since I’d sat down next to her, and giddily pulled a piece that she knew would topple the tower. ‘I’m done,’ she declared, grinning as she rested her head on her arm. Laughing, we picked up the pieces and put the game away, cleaning up the last of our drinks. When we looked at Gwen again, we saw she had fallen asleep where she sat. I pressed my hand to my mouth, trying to stifle my giggles. ‘Well, now what?’ I asked Drew and Nick. Drew chuckled. ‘She can stay here. There’s a bed in the spare room.’ ‘Looks like you don’t have a choice,’ I remarked. He lifted her gently in his arms and her head fell to his chest.. I wondered if I had just worked myself up with the idea of finally doing something sexual after so long. Now I was the weird chick on campus for the next month. I would've run out of their screaming if not for the social inertia, the artificial construct that flies directly into the face of the fight or flight reflex. The deer-in-the-headlights pause human beings can also feel when confronted with their own unnatural sense of shame.And I thought I was so fucking progressive.And still that part of me was underneath, lurking, lying to me, chipping away at all my confidence.I'd like to think my cause gave me courage, but that would be bullshit. It was a sort of stubborn pride that for some reason made me feel that to walk into a classroom naked and then walk out as if I suddenly realized I had forgotten to put on the top, would've seemed more ditzy and fucking dumb than deliberately having no sense of modesty.There weren't any seats available except up in the front, so somehow, I.
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